27 Chapter Titles Worth A Read. Maybe.

“Reality provides us with facts so romantic that imagination itself could add nothing to them.”

– Ascribed to Jules Gabriel Verne, 1828-1905

I have piles of stories/blogs/books/articles that I’ve written, and I want to share, really I do….but I never know if a piece is grammatically correct, in the right tone or worthy enough to publish.Hell, maybe my chapters wouldn’t interest anyone, who knows. I’ve made a brief (yet crucial) list and each title below represents a chapter in my adventure book. Maybe it’s a memoir or auto-bio but I lack all confidence and I know I’m terrified I’ll fuck it up for sure.

Remember That One Time?

The Chapters:

  1. That One Time When I was Born
  2. That One Time I Hated my Creators (aka the ‘rents)
  3. That One Time I went to Mexico
  4. That One Time I Had to Change Schools
  5. That One Time I Was So Fat
  6. That One Time When I Was Gay
  7. Those Many Times of Mania That I Didn’t Know were Mania
  8. Too Many Times of Debilitating Depression
  9. That One Time We Had a Foreclosure (and a Repossession, or Two. And Bankruptcy. Twice. Three Times.)
  10. That One Time I Went to Jail
  11. That One Time I Learned I Hated Most Men
  12. That One Time My Husband Went to Jail
  13. One of Those Times I Got Pregnant
  14. That One Time I Had 55 Jobs
  15. That One Time My Husband Had a Stroke
  16. That One Time I Went to College (or a few times)
  17. That One Time I Was Locked Up (a few other times, too)
  18. That One Time I Didn’t think I Needed Medicine
  19. That One Time We Moved to Minnesota
  20. That One Time My Husband Had a Stroke
  21. That One Time We Rescued Stella and Zander Died
  22. That One Time I Did a Bunch of Drugs
  23. For All Those Times I Lost Friends
  24. That One Time I Had to Apply For (and Accept) SSD
  25. The Time I Sent the First Kid to College
  26. That One Time My Friend Was Shot by a Police Officer Leaving Him Paralyzed
  27. For All Those Times I Didn’t Mention…

Not Exhaustive

Quite the list, eh? Yes, it’s sure to make a must-read book someday. Right? I’m almost 100% sure an editor will rip it to shreds and try to have me committed, but I really have nothing to lose. Except pride.

And respect.



You know, the normal shit.

– jen.

“Damaged people are dangerous. They know they can survive.”


-Josephine Hart (1991), Damage


“The reason that fiction is more interesting than any other form of literature, to those who really like to study people, is that in fiction the author can really tell the truth without humiliating himself.”

– (attributed to) Eleanor Roosevelt